18 November 2012

Abandoned: "Have a New Husband by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman

Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 DaysHave a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days by Kevin Leman

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Genre: nonfiction, self-help
On my TBR list?: no

Perhaps if you are young or somehow managed to live your life avoiding daytime talk shows and self-help books, then Have a New Husband by Friday might have something to offer you. It isn't a bad book, but it does travel well-worn roads in the city of male and female relationships. The advice falls under the umbrella of  "men are from Mars, women are from Venus". There was a lot about how women are better at planning and taking care of the children and the household than men, so women need to massage men's egos by finding ways to make them feel needed. The author reminded me of a male comedian who tries to get the women in the audience on his side by starting off with how dumb men are. On top of that, as I was reading I kept saying to myself, "I'm the one who acts like that, not my husband." The picture of the wife as Wonder Woman who can take care of the house, tend to the kids, and manage the accounts while the husband is standing in the middle of it all grumbling, "Where is my clean shirt?" has never been an accurate picture of my marriage. About halfway through the book I realized that it had nothing to offer me, so I ditched it.

In general, I suppose this advice could apply to a lot of relationships. I might consider handing it to one of my daughters after she gets married. The overall theme of the book is to change how you are treating your husband and it will change how he reacts to you, and I think that is good advice.  However, I would also make sure to follow up with her and help tailor some of the advice to her particular situation because everyone's marriage doesn't fall into the stereotypical male/female dynamic as the book suggests.

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